This Isn't A Joke
by Isabella and me
Summary: Kakuzu and Hidan both stared at the piece of paper. "Please tell me this is a joke."
1. Why me?

**A.N.**

Yay first story up please read and review :3

**Or dont and make her cry**

Isabella's right I wrote this so not doing either of those would break my iddle heart :(

**Since you forgot...ahem neither of us own the characters or show and thats the only disclaimer your going to get.**

**This Isn't A Joke**

Against all odds Hidan had fallen in love. Of course the person he fell in love with hated his guts. When Hidan figured that out he didn't even try to deny it. Even he knew about love, mostly from books that would describe it in great detail. Apparently the crap written in the books was totally true. His heart would start to pound and flutter against his chest at the same time.

So he didn't deny it, but he still hated it. Especially since his "crush" was Kakuza, his partner that hated his guts. Yeah so that wasn't good. And Hidan knew he did, after being called an idiot and a dumb ass for a few hours you kinda figure that out. Hidan was yanked out of his thoughts when a shoe hit his head.

"Dude, What the hell?!" he shouted a Kakuza who had thrown said object.

"Shut up Hidan we have a mission." He replied taking a scroll out of his cloak.

"What?! We're still recovering from our last mission and we're not even at the base!"

Kakuza sighed. Hidan was right they had only finished their mission 2 days ago and were currently at a hotel. He pulled out a package from his cloak. Apparently the scroll and the package came together. Kakuza unrolled the scroll with Hidan looking over his shoulder.

**Dear Hidan & Kakuza,**

**You are to gather information about the movements and plans of Lord Cion. You will disguise with the outfits in the package. (Yes the outfits are your size. no don't ask me how I know.) as Miss Lady Yuki and her bodyguard Razul. You were chosen since everyone else was on missions. Failure will not be accepted.**

**Pein**

**P.S. Kakuza do ****not ****hit, threaten or attempt to kill Hidan. It's rude to hit ladies in public.**

**Hidan do ****not ****curse, hit, yell or kill. It's not ladylike.**

**P.S.S You ****may ****break any pervert's arms/legs.**

Both Hidan and Kakuza finished reading at the same time. There was a long pause. Which was naturally broken by Hidan.

"You've go to be joking!" He yelled

Suddenly a small piece of paper fell out of the scroll.

**No this is not a joke, This is a mission. –Pein**

Both of them sweat dropped. Hidan sighed and Kakuza pulled out the clothes. 'Why me?'

**A.N.**

So short...but dont worry theres more :)

**Yay them**


	2. MissYuki

**A.N.**

Second chapter is up and there might be a teensy weensy bit of OCCness but only a little

**.....What?! I gave the disclaimer in the first chapter**

How boring

**Get over it or I'm taking over this operation**

I'll be good

**That's what I thought**

**This Isn't A Joke 2**

"No!"

"Hidan-"

"No way in HELL! I am **not** wearing that." Hidan yelled staring defiantly up at his partner. Kakuzu sighed. Hidan had been like this ever since they discovered that Hidan was supposed to be Miss Lady Yuki. He held up the outfit, which was a very pretty black and red kimono with matching accessories.

"Listen Hidan" he began, oh he was going to regret this.

" If you wear this outfit and pretend to be Miss Lady Yuki I'll…"Hidan looked up his interest was piqued.

"You'll what?" he asked.

"I'll treat you to some nice retruants and hotels on the way back." He finally finished.

"You will sweet!" Hidan yelled before grabbing the kimono and ran into the bathroom to change.

'Well that wasn't that hard, it just cost me my money.' Kakuzu thought as he watched Hidan run into the bathroom. He sighed again and pulled out his outfit. It looked normal enough and at least he wasn't wearing a dress.

Hidan came out about 10 minutes later the dress was actually very comfortable and it made him look hot! Like a woman but still hot. Not like he would never admit that. 'Kakuzu better not have a fucking camera.' Suddenly Hidan smiled. Kakuzu was in his outfit hunched over a paper and calculator working. He tiptoed over using his best ninja skills. Then he struck!!

GLOMP ATTACK !!!!

"Did you miss me Kakuzu?" Hidan asked innocently in a higher voice.

"No and what's wrong with your voice?" He asked turning towards the cross dresser. (lol cross dresser XD)

"I wanted to practice sounding like a fucking woman." Hidan replied normally. Then he stepped back and spun in a circle.

"What do you think?" he asked back to sounding like a woman. Kakuzu turned halfway in his chair and looked at Hidan. He turned back around sharply to hide the blush that decided to take up residence on his face.

"You look nice." Kakuzu replied gruffly trying not to look at Hidan. The silver haired man smiled. A real compliment from Kakuzu he almost never did that. Kakuzu stuffed the papers and the calculator into his bag and stood.

"If your done now we should leave." He said before opening the door and leaving the room. Hidan his grabbed bag before running out of the room.

" HEY WAIT UP!" he yelled after his partner.

When Hidan caught up with Kakuzu (who hadn't stopped!) He tossed his bag at Kakuzu's head. Who of course caught it and glared at Hidan.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"You don't expect me to carry my fucking bag do you?" Hidan asked, "Besides I mean I am a Lady." He continued his voice changing to that of a woman's. Kakuzu glared as Hidan started to skip merrily in front of him.

"Off we go." Hidan giggled (yes **giggled**)

'Oh dear' Kakuzu thought almost groaning. Hidan was having way too much fun and Kakuzu was definitely going to get a headache once this was over.

**A.N.**

Thanks for the reviews! :) I'm sorry I spelled Kakuzu's name wrong it was a complete mistake.

Kakuzu: Thanks a lot

Isabellaaaa!!

**Right back into the closet you go we've got a lot of work ahead of us.**

Kakuzu:NEVER!!

See you next time


	3. NO! NOT A TOUR!

The third chapter is up!!*pumps fist*

**oy-vey**

**This Isn't A Joke 3**

The two Akatsuki members stared at the humongous building. They had arrived at their destination. It just screamed wealth it also screamed just try and rob me I dare you. Hidan hummed (but didn't skip) all the way to the door where he knocked lightly. Hidan was in a very good mood oh yes he was. On the way to the manor nobody attacked them (it might've been because of disguises), and Hidan got free food from a ramen stand. Being a woman rocked!

Kakuzu however was a different story. Hidan had been laughing, humming, skipping and giggling. Not only was it strange (and a little bit creepy) but also he kept on making Kakuza do stuff. Since he was a Laaadyy he couldn't do anything for himself except skip. And then at the ramen stand the man there gave Hidan free food then watched him like a hawk. Kakuza didn't get any food at all.

He wouldn't have eaten it anyway it probably tasted bad. (Even though Hidan said it tasted really good.) Then the man said that it was made with love. That really got on Kakuzu's nerves because he didn't get any of course. Yeah that's right nope not because the guy was hitting on Hidan…not at all.

At the moment Kakuzu was being led into a room opposite from Hidan's in the mansion. It wasn't that fancy actually it reminded him of a hotel room. (Hidan probably had a larger room.) He didn't care at the moment as long as there was a bed, which he promptly collapsed on. (A happy Hidan was tiring.)

Later…

"Ah hello Miss Yuki." A young man called out.

"Why hello." Hidan or "Miss Yuki" replied. Kakuzu rolled his eyes as the two started to meanissliy chatter." Yuki had been talking with every young man in the ballroom and frankly it was getting a annoying. Because it was wasting time not because he was talking to them Heh heh. God (not Jashin!) what was wrong with him.

"Oi, dumbass wake up!" Hidan yelled at him snapping him out of his thoughts.

"What is it!?" He asked looking around.

"That guy who was just talking to me is the lord Cion guy." He replied.

"Good anyone else important that you talked to?" He asked looking back to Hidan.

"Yeah the one with black hair over there is the head of his fighter and the one over there is one of his really good warriors."

"Good we'll do some looking around later." Kakuzu replied

"How about now. Oh lord Cion." Hidan called out

Kakuza groaned he would not enjoy this.

"And this tapestry has been in the family for five generation." Cion said gesturing

"Ooo how fascinating." Hidan replied, as Cion puffed out his chest obviously proud.

Hidan however was quite bored. Who the fuck cared about a stupid tapestry! Apparently Kakuzu agreed with him for once. The miser looked as bored as he felt. But the talking lord was apparently oblivious to their boredrum. Then Hidan had an idea.

"Everything here is so old and valuable how could you possibly protect it all?" Hidan asked sweetly

"Well the ninja that guard this mansion are highly trained and there are at least 7 ninja trained each of the elements. By that I mean lightning, wind, water, fire, and earth." He finished looking expectantly at Hidan. Hidan nodded his head eagerly.

"And even if anyone did get past all the ninja inside there's sentries and hidden traps that can be set off. Especially where we have the more valuable items." H e continued showing off. (braggart)

"Can we see those items please?" Hidan asked (he was using puppy eyes but he wont admit it.) Lord Cion looked at Kakuzu seeming doughtful. Hidan caught the look and continued talking.

"Oh don't worry about Razul he's been guarding my family before I was born he wont tell a soul." (old man)

"Well okay, it's highly unlikely that even if he did see all the traps he could get past them anyway." Cion said walking down the hallway (how little you know) Hidan could barley hold back a laugh. 'That's what you think you fucking idiot.' Hidan followed Cion with Kakuzu close behind.

"_This is fucking boring."_ Hidan whispered.

"_Agreed."_ Kakuzu replied

Hearing that Hidan felt a little better at least he wasn't the only one. His thoughts were interrupted (again) when Cion began talking again. This time about a suit of armor.

"It's been at the mansion for over one hundred years."

The tour passed slowly, veery slowly stickdick's puppet could move faster. Practically the only time Hidan paid attention was when traps or when forbidden scrolls were mentioned. Finally the tour was interrupted when a messenger came in to talk with Lord Cion.

"Well, Miss Yuki I am afraid our tour must be cut short duty (snort) calls." Cion said regretfully.

"I understand completely."

THANK YOU JASHIN!! He yelled in his mind his mind self doing a little dance.

Cion bowed and Hidan curtsied, gracefully I might add. Then Hidan Kakuzu departed to their rooms. (More like ran to their rooms) In his room Hidan collapsed on the bed. Who knew tours were so exhausting.

**I think this the longest chapter yet**

It is ,thanks for all the reviews I really liked them  
and am I the only one thinks the idea of a graceful curtsying Hidan is wierd yet funny

**I can't beleive you made them go on a tour thats like torture**

So...

**Thats my thing**

It was your idea

**Oh yeah...**

Bye-Bye till next time


	4. OMG Confessions!

ugh...too dizzy and tired to comment enjoy

Kakuzu yawned. The tour **had** lasted for several hours and could've put Itachi to sleep. The miser had started to make blueprints to the mansion. He would probably finish the blueprints by tomorrow. And then they would finally get to leave. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

Suddenly the door opened and Hidan walked in. He was in his normal clothes and his hair was wet. (the sexy beast)

"What do you want?" he asked sounding annoyed

"Its cold and boring in my room so move over." Then Hidan crawled under the covers nest to Kakuzu.

"Whatever." The miser shrugged it would involve too much effort to make Hidan move. Five minutes later Hidan had fallen asleep leaving Kakuzu alone with his thoughts. About an hour later a noise caught Kuzu's attention. (yes Kuzu) Hidan mumbled in his sleep and curled up causing him to move closer to Kakuzu. Hidan was shivering from the cold so he apparently had moved towards the biggest heat source. Kakuzu.

The miser wrapped his arms around the Jashinist carefully so as to not wake him up. Hidan smiled and snuggled into Kakuzu obviously content.

Why am I doing this for Hidan? Do I like him, like him more than a partner should? (coughyescough)…Oh who cares I'm too tired to think right now.

Then he slowly drifted off to sleep holding the Jashinist in his arms. Hidan smiled as Kakuzu fell asleep. His breathing becoming slow and even. Hidan liked dressing up as Yuki. (closet crossdresser) Way more people were nice to him including Kakuzu. Speaking of Kakuzu he was so very warm, way warmer then Hidan's bed.

He moved not snuggled! (…liar) closer into Kakuzu's arms. Which tightened around him possessively. He wouldn't have been able to get away even if he wanted to. At the moment he was the happiest he ever been since he was partnered up with the miser.

Hidan woke up in an empty bed the miser nowhere to be seen. Then the door opened and Kakuzu walked in.

"Oh good your up, as soon as I finish the blueprints to the manor we'll leave." The miser rummaged through his bag before pulling out a piece of paper.

"As long as we don't have to go on any more fucking stupid tours." Hidan replied getting up from the bed.

"Go put on some clothes and grab your stuff." Kakuzu ordered. Hidan nodded and left the room. Leaving Kakuzu alone with the blueprints.

_I like him_

**No I don't Yes I do I'm imagining this because I've grown crazy and delusional**

_If I was crazy and delusional why would I imagine such a stupid tour?_

_**Good point I-DAMNIT! I'm talking to myself…I am going crazy, great next thing you know ill start sprouting leaves**_ (heh Zetsu)

Kakuzu sighed and shook his head thinking like that wouldn't help. He started to work on the blueprints again. By the time Hidan came back he was almost done. Hidan walked in and tossed his crap on the bed.

"You fucking done yet?" (how eloquent) he asked looking over Kuzu's shoulder. Kakuzu scribbled what looked like a note on the blueprints. Then he stood up and put the blueprints away before nodding.

"Yeah lets go."

They jumped out of a window and left much like how they came. Except without the skipping and the giggling. True to his word Kakuzu stopped for food at roadside restaurants (although he didn't like). He didn't pay for anything though he just killed everyone (except Hidan but he couldn't kill him anyway.) after seeing the prices.

But after lunch something started to bug the miser and it wasn't the prices. Hidan seemed to be getting more and more depressed the closer they got to the base. There were many emotions that Kakuzu had seen from Hidan (a lot of emotions) but depression was not one of them. So after an hour of this Kakuzu just had to ask.

"What's wrong?"

Hidan then predictably lied…badly.

"Nothing."

"Stop lying before I cut off your head and stake it into the ground." (he's bluffing)

"Fine. Ill fucking tell you." He replied glaring at the miser.

"Well…?" Kakuzu prodded

"ImissbeingYuki." Hidan said quickly before looking embarrassed at the ground.

Kakuzu blinked and checked to make sure he had heard right.

"Excuse me?!"

"I miss being Yuki." Hidan replied still looking at the ground.

"May I ask why?"

"Well …it's just that when I was Yuki people treated normally like I was a person and you didn't hit me at all." his voice seemed to get smaller and quieter towards the end. A feat Kakuzu normally would have celebrated.

"Most of the people were men who were only nice to you because you looked hot and they were horny idiots." He looked at Hidan who didn't to seem to feel better from those words.

"And …I like you either way."(as in as a girl or boy…pervs)

Hidan looked up.

"You do?" he asked almost unbelievingly.

"Yes."

He pulled Hidan into his arms and crushed his lips onto Hidan's much softer ones. Hidan responded almost immediately and Kakuzu licked his lips asking for entrance. Hidan opened his lips; the miser invaded his mouth memorizing everything. All too soon they broke apart for air.

"Hidan, I love you." Kakuzu confessed after he regained much needed air.

He looked down at his partner waiting for him to say something.

"Good cause I fucking love you too." Hidan said.

Then he leaned up, Kakuzu leaned down and they lost themselves in another kiss.

"Zetsu status report." Pein commanded his voice resounding in the room.

"A success.** If you want to call it that.** Both Hidan and Kakuzu seem to be infatuated with each other and have confessed to their love." Zetsu said staring at his leader.

"Good."

"If I may ask leader-sama,** What's the bloody point?" **he asked confused.

"The point is that with them like this not only will they fight less but they work better together. Which means a higher success rate on missions." Pein replied watching Zetsu intently.

Zetsu shifted settling his gaze on the desk, avoiding his leader's piercing eyes

"That makes sense, but I have to know. **Who's next?"** he asked raising his gaze to his leader's face.

Pein almost seemed to be smiling.

"We'll just have to wait and see." With those words he turned around and returned to his work.

"You are dismissed."

Zetsu bowed and left. Pein chuckled to himself.

"Who's next indeed."

**Sorry but this is the end :0**

I might make a sequel or something but right now I'm busy with other stories. Thanks for reading :)


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